"Mom and dad like to show me all the pictures and tell me about how everybody cares about me." (P. 30)

Accidents happen all the time. There are small ones like absentmindedly swinging an arm backwards and hitting somebody, leaving your homework at home, or spilling a glass of milk. There are also serious ones like car or plane crashes, falling off a great height, or running into a glass door and having it cut you. Those are the types of accidents I know off, accidents that people don't want nor try to get into. But apparently, there's also another type of accident in which you, fully conscious of what you're doing, go into your bathroom, put on a robe, spill gasoline on it, and set fire to yourself.

As far as I know, this is no accident. It's not like it just happened to you. You did it to yourself... on purpose. Yet, according to Bush -yeah, George W. Bush, former President of the United States- attempting suicide is an "accident". Brent Runyon receives a letter from him in which Bush says "that he'd heard about me [Brent] from some congressman and was sorry to hear about my accident...(P.65)" Funny, how purposefully setting fire to yourself, is suddenly seen as something that just happened. "Oh how unfortunate to have your hand set fire to your gasoline-covered robe. It must be awful being a victim to such an accident."Don't get me wrong, though. I'm very glad that Brent got support from the President, it just should be referred to as what actually happened, not have it sugarcoated.

Brent got a lot of solace from other people around him as well. The First Lady of Poland went to visit him, for example - probably for publicity considering the fact that she barely spoke to him, but still. It's amazing how many people care. He even received gifts and cards from people he didn't know. He also got  a tape from "some girls from school"in which other people (females, all of them) told him how much they missed him. What struck me though, was that one of the people in the recording said "You're my hero, Brent (P. 45)." OK, so go and try to setting yourself on fire and those burns all over your body will completely be your fault. But don't worry, because you'll be somebody's idol. Why? By telling him he's his "hero" he's like saying he's proud of how he tried to commit suicide. Instead, he should be encouraging him to stay away from suicide next time.

But okay, anyways, Brent also got a a very sweet call from Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson did not try to sugarcoat what Brent did nor congratulate him for it either. He just told him he wanted him "to work real hard and get better (P. 48)"(both, showing he cared and actually encouraging Brent to live) and that he would be sending him a pair of shoes and a workout suit. Alida was another persons who helped Brent. She sent him a mix-tape and visited him in the hospital, showing she cared. All the support is useful, though. And it's this that helped Brent recover.

"It'll be okay, I tell myself, I can live in the basement when I get older so people don't have to look at me."

Suicide has become a very controversial topic in society. Some people say it's cowardly and whoever does it is too selfish. Others say it's one of the bravest things that can be done, since death is so scary. It may be either cowardly or brave, but what if you don't die after attempting suicide? What if you fail, and are left to deal with all the consequences that follow? What if you're only a step away from death, but wish to keep holding on, despite the pain after setting yourself on fire?

This is what happened to Brent Runyon, who later in his life wrote The Burn Journals, recalling his suicidal days and those that followed. With the book's first paragraph, it is evident that Runyon was not a happy person. He doesn't think very highly of himself, and insults himself various times. He even feels guilty and blames himself because his best friend's crush likes him (Brent) instead of his friend.  "Why do I have to screw this up for him? I hate myself," (P. 6) he says after finding out. He has tried suicide many times. "I wonder why all the ways I've tried to kill myself haven't worked," (P. 13) he says. "I've tried hanging... I tried to take pills."(P. 13) He also adds that he has cut himself, but has never been able to do it deep enough to die.

However, despite the negative way in which he sees himself, he portrays a completely different image: He's a class clown and is always making everybody laugh. Looking from the outside, one would never think he's suicidal. Then one day, Brent sets fire to a shirt in a locker and is about to get expelled, so he sets his mind on committing suicide. He tells barely anybody about this. However, one of the kids he does confess this to is Kevin. However, Kevin doesn't care at all, and even thanks him after Brent says he'll leave a note saying the locker incident was his own fault. If only he'd done something, Brent Runyon maybe would have been kept from all the suffering. But no. He had to think about himself only and leave once he was sure his name would be cleared up.

So Brent Runyon gets home and sets himself on fire... but he survives. However, it is obvious that he never fully thought about the consequences suicide brought. If he had died, his family and friends would have gone through an immense amount of suffering. But he didn't, so he was faced with consequences he had never even considered. After attempting suicide, he sees himself in the microwave and thinks "Where's my hair? Where did my hair go? Is that my face?" (P. 17) Despite not being able to recognize himself because of the damage, he still doesn't see the gravity of what happened. Once in the ambulance, he wonders if he's dad will give him a ride home later, but then realizes his dad won't be able to. But he doesn't think it's impossible because of the damage he caused himself, but only because his dad is out of town. It is later on that he realizes how serious everything actually is and regrets that dat when he went home and set fire to himself.