"It'll be okay, I tell myself, I can live in the basement when I get older so people don't have to look at me."

Suicide has become a very controversial topic in society. Some people say it's cowardly and whoever does it is too selfish. Others say it's one of the bravest things that can be done, since death is so scary. It may be either cowardly or brave, but what if you don't die after attempting suicide? What if you fail, and are left to deal with all the consequences that follow? What if you're only a step away from death, but wish to keep holding on, despite the pain after setting yourself on fire?

This is what happened to Brent Runyon, who later in his life wrote The Burn Journals, recalling his suicidal days and those that followed. With the book's first paragraph, it is evident that Runyon was not a happy person. He doesn't think very highly of himself, and insults himself various times. He even feels guilty and blames himself because his best friend's crush likes him (Brent) instead of his friend.  "Why do I have to screw this up for him? I hate myself," (P. 6) he says after finding out. He has tried suicide many times. "I wonder why all the ways I've tried to kill myself haven't worked," (P. 13) he says. "I've tried hanging... I tried to take pills."(P. 13) He also adds that he has cut himself, but has never been able to do it deep enough to die.

However, despite the negative way in which he sees himself, he portrays a completely different image: He's a class clown and is always making everybody laugh. Looking from the outside, one would never think he's suicidal. Then one day, Brent sets fire to a shirt in a locker and is about to get expelled, so he sets his mind on committing suicide. He tells barely anybody about this. However, one of the kids he does confess this to is Kevin. However, Kevin doesn't care at all, and even thanks him after Brent says he'll leave a note saying the locker incident was his own fault. If only he'd done something, Brent Runyon maybe would have been kept from all the suffering. But no. He had to think about himself only and leave once he was sure his name would be cleared up.

So Brent Runyon gets home and sets himself on fire... but he survives. However, it is obvious that he never fully thought about the consequences suicide brought. If he had died, his family and friends would have gone through an immense amount of suffering. But he didn't, so he was faced with consequences he had never even considered. After attempting suicide, he sees himself in the microwave and thinks "Where's my hair? Where did my hair go? Is that my face?" (P. 17) Despite not being able to recognize himself because of the damage, he still doesn't see the gravity of what happened. Once in the ambulance, he wonders if he's dad will give him a ride home later, but then realizes his dad won't be able to. But he doesn't think it's impossible because of the damage he caused himself, but only because his dad is out of town. It is later on that he realizes how serious everything actually is and regrets that dat when he went home and set fire to himself.