"I only killed myself. That's a good thing."

After Brent tried to commit suicide, he was the only one who had to spend four months recovering in the hospital and three more in a recuperation center. He had to live separated from his family and friends, and be treated by many unkind strangers. However, he brought it upon himself. The fire-incident was no accident. It was a choice. On the other hand, while Brent recover from all his physical damage, his family had to deal with all the emotional harm they never saw coming. They thought Brent was a healthy, happy boy. But turns out he was dealing with tons of problems he never mentioned. And turns out that these problems (even though they weren't very big and Brent made a big deal out of them because he probably suffered from depression or something of the sort, but that's a whole other story) ended not only creating visible scars all over Brent's body, but also invisible ones in Brent's family.

Now Brent's mom must ask herself everyday where she went wrong and what she could have done better to avoid Brent's suicide attempt. She must feel awful because she didn't see any suicidal signs in Brent, when in reality he gave barely any. Brent's dad must feel terrible for not being there that day, since he was off on a business trip. Even though it probably wouldn't have changed anything, the guilt might lead him to believe that if he had been in Virginia, everything could have ended differently. And finally there's Craig. Craig was the one who found Brent right after Brent set himself on fire. He's the one who saw how normal Brent got home that afternoon and how all of a sudden he was attempting suicide. And now he has to watch his family suffer.

Just like everybody else, each family member has a different way of showing his/her pain. Brent's dad is pretty business-like, and acts as if this were nothing other than a job issue. Yes, he is suffering inside, but this is the way he communicates his suffering. When he talks about what happened "he puts on his business voice and sounds like he's giving a presentation (P. 181)." In the family meeting with Brent's psychologist, Mr. Runyon puts his feelings aside and speaks as if he were only a group's representative, saying "Well, I, all of us, really have had a really hard time the last few months, adjusting and adapting to the new challenges and making sure the things that have to be done are getting done. But on the other hand, I think this has brought us together, made us stronger, and we've had a lot of support from our family and friends, and that has been great. We appreciate it all (P. 181)." He is very formal about it. He might as well be talking about some economic hardships his small company had, not about how his son almost died. I guess he is trying to keep a stable image of a leader who is able to keep it together, a father. Brent's mom, on the other hand, is very sensitive and shows it. She cries many times throughout the book. It is obvious she feels guilty about never seeing any signs of Brent's suicidal ideas as she apologizes various times for it. "I'm sorry I didn't know you were so sad (P. 115),"she says many times as she cries.

Craig is the complete opposite, and he's the one I can identify with the most. He doesn't say much and is hard to read. However, he does this on purpose and "it's so hard to see what he's feeling because he tries to cover everything up (P. 180)," as Brent explains. I do this as well, and even though many people criticize it, it's just the way many people deal with what's going on, not wanting others to see what is really happening. In addition, Craig is angry at Brent. It's what I do many times as well: Blame somebody. While Brent's parents are sad and suffering, Craig is only mad at Brent. Because while Brent is somewhere else, recovering, Craig has to actually deal with all the damage he left behind. He has to "watch Mom and Dad sort of fall apart at the end of the day (P. 181)." "Just to watch all the pain Mom and Dad were going through at the end of every day. So that made me really angry (P. 181)," Craig explains.

As Brent watches a car's headlights appear and then disappear on his bedroom wall, he says "I wonder where light goes when it's not here. I mean, I know that darkness is the absence of light, but where does the light go when it's not here? And how do you know if it'll ever come back (P. 198)?" He might be actually referring to the headlights and meaning nothing deeper than that, but then again, maybe he isn't. I immediately connected this passage directly to his family's happiness. Brent's family used to be happy, with no big problems. But then Brent attempted suicide, and suddenly all that happiness left the family  So where does all that family's happiness go after it has left them? And will it ever return to create a happy family once again? Brent might only have wanted to harm himself, but he ended harming his entire family.